Radical Positivity #1: Lessons From My Father and Pat Croce

Everyone knows that a positive mind – filled with optimistic outlook and positive perspective – is key to happiness and success. On or off the golf course.

Have you ever thought about what might happen if you decided to be not only more positive, but radically positive??!!

Recently I noticed that every time I ask my dad how he is, he heartily answers: “Great!” It shocks and delights me every time. Six months ago, at age 89 and out riding his bicycle he stopped to answer his cell phone (for real!). He lost his balance, fell and broke his hip. Surgery, rehab and a long winter recovery have ensued for him, along with caring for my mother whose health has sadly been declining.

Yet here is my dear dad, willing to say with gusto that he feels great! No matter what. This morning he gave me a book by Pat Croce, a hugely successful speaker, sports columnist, karate champion and former president of the Philadelphia 76ers. The book is entitled: 110%: 110 Strategies for Feeling Great Every Day.

Mr. Croce writes that “I FEEL GREAT!” has been his signature line for years:

“...sometimes in moments of unbridled joy, sometimes in moments of unendurable pain.
“When we won the NBA lottery I shrieked it. When a paramedic leaned over me on a rain-swept stretch of highway where my bones were scattered like pebbles (after a devastating motorcycle accident), I croaked it….
I thought thoughts that were positive, that could pull me back from the edge of giving up. I told myself that I felt great – even when I didn’t … to make feeling great possible.”

I’m a psychologist, and I know there are all kinds of constructs in our minds and experiences in our lives that make being positive not so simple. Both the conscious and subconscious mind easily toss up reasons against Radical Positivity, all the way from it’s shallow to impossible, or just plain unrealistic.

But what if golfers simply decided to make “I PLAYED GREAT!” our signature line, after every shot and every round?!? What would happen to our mental game, and our scores? Could we re-train our tendencies to negativity? Might new results happen that cause rejoicing and reinforcement of positivity, in our minds and golf games and lives? Are we even willing to give it a committed try and find out?

The truth is, every shot is a great one – whether we liked it or not. And thinking that way definitely ups the chances of making our next swings and shots ones that we’ll call great because we do like them!

Smooth Swinging: Watching The Pros

Congratulations to Ben Crane, who just won at Torrey Pines here in San Diego (and thanks to Farmers Insurance for stepping in as title sponsor). It was a pleasure to watch Ben and all the pros swing, putt and play the game.

Much as the “electricity” of Tiger’s presence is not currently out there on the PGA Tour, it is no less wonderful or inspiring to watch all the pros play. I hope people will keep their interest and support high because every tour player is performing amazing athletic feats, under incredible competitive pressure, every shot, every round, every tournament, all year long.

“They swing so easily!”
“They’re always in balance!”
“They’re so still and smooth when they putt.”
“They always go through the same routine.”
“They never seem to hit it ‘fat’ or chunk it.”
“They’re SO good out of the sand, how do they DO that?”

These are comments I hear whenever students or friends return from watching pros play in-person. I always recommend to people to get out to an LPGA or PGA tournament, play in a pro-am, take playing lessons with your teaching pro.

What's evident by comparison between amateur and professional golfers is the level of the pros’:

a) centered-ness and balance
b) sequence and rhythm
c) timing and tempo
d) acceleration through the ball
e) well-practiced, sharp short game
f) smooth putting stroke and # of putts-per-round
g) mental focus
h) solid fundamentals
i) repeatable pre-shot routine and in-swing motion

So take the hints! Are you one of the many golfers obsessed with the search for the best clubs, or perfect positions and planes in your swing? Have you tried really focusing on the QUALITIES that make for better swings and lower scores??

I call these qualities “KiAi” which simply means the power of unified energy-flow. Relaxed and focused. Harmonious power, as opposed to the brute-force kill-it approach. If you don’t already know how true this is from your own experience, then at least trust the pros!

To comprehend "peaceful power": train your eye as you watch, and your body-mind as you swing and play the game. And check out my KiAi Golf Instructional DVD Series. The results will astound you!

Oh – Make That Oy – Tiger! Part 3

So how seriously should we be taking Tiger’s “sins and transgressions”? I hear some people being not so bothered, saying what man hasn’t or isn’t or wouldn’t want to be out there playing around like Tiger? While Tiger is allowed to be hu-man, what kind of terrible commentary is this on the state of affairs (pun intended) in our world today?

Other people are thoroughly appalled and outraged at Tiger for betraying his wife and family, not to mention his sponsors and fans and the virtues of golf itself. I for one sincerely hope and pray that he does whatever it takes to get himself back on course. I think we were all better off having his greatness to emulate than his foibles to gossip about. I doubt he can ever fully un-tarnish himself. As terrific as it has been to watch him, now its so hard to see him fall from grace and go from the best to the worst kind of legend.

Tiger’s got more work to do than ever. For starters it's time for some very big cleansing breaths. As the founder of Aikido would say, “True victory is self-victory” and Tiger broke the harmony of the universe. This is where people either become truly great beings, or lose power and cannot ultimately be winners in life. Ai-Ki / Ki-Ai will always be the Way. Centered and clear, physically and spiritually aligned and true.

Oh – Make That Oy – Tiger! Part 2

Tiger’s in Big T, no doubt about it. In the roughest rough imaginable. Losing strokes left and right and paying enormous prices for swinging so out of control.

Questions questions questions. How could he …? Why in the world would he …? Didn’t he think …? When did he … ? Wasn’t he still a newlywed, with his beautiful bride but bad knee, then doing surgery and rehab and busy with new babies and getting back to top tour form???

Amidst all of that, that Tiger somehow managed to see multiple mistresses, keep it all covered up, and keep on winning golf tournaments seems yet another stupendous feat. Of sorts anyways. Looking back over this past year, Tiger more than once failed to pull off his famous finales or seal the deal on a Sunday or when it mattered most in the majors. He was more “only human” out there than ever before. Commentators and spectators alike all noticed, without ever suspecting the real reasons why.

Pro golfers don’t need to be monks or saints. But they are role models in a game of singular character and integrity. Perhaps Tiger’s godlike status was bound to stumble and crumble. Now that the nature and extent of his distractions are becoming known, perhaps the real wonder is how he managed to play as well as he did. He sure has compiled records…

Inner turmoil and outer turmoil just don’t add up to peak performance. Like golf, life is a constant challenge and practice to keep ourselves in the fair way, shooting straight down the center and in position to make scores we truly can be proud of.

Oh – Make That Oy – Tiger! Part 1

I’ve always been a huge Tiger Woods fan, even called him “the ultimate KiAi Golfer,” because his level of excellence and self-mastery as a player is just so staggeringly right-on and huge. He has been, to me, one of the greatest examples of realizing one’s potential on the planet that we’ve perhaps ever seen. So I, like so many people right now, am feeling badly shocked and shook up by his car crash and “transgressions.” Who ever expected we’d be so staggered by just how hugely human this almost godlike golf icon has been revealed to be?

I can’t help but be struck by his offense: of all things - cheating. He’s the world’s best golfer, perhaps ever – doesn’t he know the rules?? Cheating is instant DQ. The blackest smudge. The worst of offenses with the worst of penalties. Insta-plunge from fame to infamy. Now we have this ultimate shocker, “squeaky-clean” Tiger messing around and messing up beyond comprehension.

I’m having brain freeze every time I think or hear more about what Tiger’s been up to off the golf course. I know how I’m feeling as one of his deepest admirers. I can hardly bear to think how his wife feels, or what this will mean for his two tiny kids. It’s just so sickening and sad and maddening.

I also hate to imagine what Tiger must be feeling as he beholds his family and the mess he’s made (especially during these holiday and birthday times); when he’s made himself tabloid fodder; when he thinks of his father and his mother; when he looks at Phil, Ernie, Annika and other fellow players; and how he’ll feel when the days come to go out to golf again with all the world looking at him, in front of millions who he’s turned into former fans.

From the highest heights to the very bottom … can the once invincible Tiger restore balance to his world ... much less to the golf world, and to ours??

Help For Charles??

Thanks go out to a new KiAi Golfer in Los Angeles who found me on Facebook and immediately ordered the KiAi Golf Instructional DVD Package. How nice to find these posts on my “wall”:

“Jamie Sensei, I’m so glad I found you! I just watched your DVDs and what can I say – you’re a genius.” -- “Just watched your DVDs again. I think you’re the only one who may be able to help Charles Barkley!”

What can I say, he said it not me! In all humility, boy would I love a chance to see what the centered principles and integrated mind-body golf practices of KiAi Golf could do for Charles. Mr. LA is not the first to suggest that they believe I could honestly help the big guy.

Charles Barkley may be an extreme case, but golfers generally suffer so much and mostly so needlessly. It is a game and it’s not rocket science. Meaning it should be fun, and its just us humans, using our own brain and body parts together with a golf club and golf ball, out there in splendiferous nature. Nothing is impossible, not even better golf - and for Charles too!

Daily Practice & Indoor Improvement!

I’d like to congratulate Class A LPGA Pro Marty Mallott on the new indoor golf facility named in her honor at Defiance High School in Ohio . She’s the girls golf coach there, and Executive Director of the Ohio Women’s State Open (where I had the good fortune to win the senior title in 2008). She and her family have outfitted a wonderful center for young players, and community members, to work on their golf regardless of the weather.

I was honored to be in Defiance for the dedication and to conduct a 3-hour indoor KiAi Golf Intensive. Without the seductions of the golf course or seeing shot results, it seems much easier for people to concentrate on what they’re actually doing and feeling as they swing, chip and putt, and to take time for the energetic and fitness aspects of the game.

Having grown up in the Midwest , I’ve noticed that golfers there and in northern climes tend to be the nuttiest of all! Probably because the summers are short and winters long, they really love their golf and savor the prime time they get to play.

With the cold snowy winter months looming, it is so great to have an indoor golf place and practices to do. In Defiance I shared KiAi Golf BLISS Fitness and Swing-Patterning KATA exercises that I designed for people to:

a) practice every day, indoors or out, at home or work, with or without a driving range or golf course

b) be empowered to work on their swing and “golf mind” themselves

c) have ways to get into “the zone” and return when they start “losing it” on the golf course.

Daily practice really is the name of the game, regardless of climate, talent, size, age, gender, etc. In the martial arts we call it conscious regular training. There is no perfect in golf, but training surely is the way to feel more natural, confident and capable. They're defying the winter in Defiance, and its possible for people everywhere to do even a little practice every day. Besides, who wouldn’t want to be swinging and improving, all of the time??!?